


Akatsuki Crackshots

by Seith_Magic



Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki - Freeform, Crack, Help, Other, This Is STUPID, help me pls, why am i here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-09-23 12:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17080619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seith_Magic/pseuds/Seith_Magic
Summary: Stupid cracks with dumb settings and whatnot





	1. Dead!

Two gravestones, that were not filled as of the moment stand beside one another as the shark man chucks both Hidan and Kakuzu's bodies in to their graves.

"Now this is a very sad funeral," Kisame says to the rest of the Akatsuki members. "So I will sing a song in memory of the Zombie Combo."

"Kisame, no," Itachi says to him with no emotion in it.

"Kisame, YeS!!" 

"Kisame, plea-" 

"Have you heard the news that your dead? No one ever had much nice to say! I think they never liked you anyw-!" 

Hidan crawls out of the grave  
"Wanna say that to ma face, bitch?"

Kisame screams like a little girl. Itachi now wants to join Kakuzu in the afterlife.


	2. Itachi The Emo Kid

Itachi sat in his bedroom, MCR playing in background.  
Big daddy Kisame walks in to tell Itachi something.

"Hey, Itachi!" He shouts over the loud ass music. "Turn that shit down!!!"

Itachi, enraged by this throws the CD case at him.  
"Let meh b emo, Kisameeeee!!!" He says while in an emotional break down.

"Well shit."


	3. Pedo Snake

Orochimaru wanted to join the Akatsuki.. again. So he went up and asked Pein to join.. again.

"What's up mah man Pein!! Lemme join the Akatsuki pls," the snek pedo asks.

"Yeah sure why not, don't have anything better to do."

"Yey!"

'Now I will get more info in the Akatsuki ):D' Orochimaru thinks to himself.

 

He was walking down the halls of the Akatsuki hideout when a certain blonde bomber shouts, "Snake pedo!!" Then proceeds to blow him up.

Turns out Sasori asked Deidara to do this. Huh.

Rest in peace Orochimaru.


	4. Choke

It was a peaceful morning at the Akatsuki hideout. Itachi happened to crave dango but as he entered the kitchen he was met with an albino sitting in one of the chairs. He was holding something, a something that was small and  opaque but in certain areas was blue and orange.

"Hidan, what the he-" but Itachi cut himself off as Hidan shoved the object down his throat like his life depended on it.

The Jashinist's mouth oozed of white soapy liquid.  
Hidan smirked at him and said nonchalantly, "Tide Pod challenge, bitch."

Then walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh yeah how old is the Tide Pod challenge now?


	5. Jashin is Very Disappointed in You

Kakuzu was relaxing in the living room. Key word: was. That all changed when a loud mouthed, assaholic bitch came stamping in to the room.

Hidan was no doubt pissed off for some reason, due to the fact he was swearing more aggressively than usual. So to get him to shut up Kakuzu says to him, "Jashin is very disappointed in you." 

This statement just made him loudly cry.. and cry.. and cry some more. He was in the fetal position when Kakuzu decided it was a good time to kick him in to orbit.


End file.
